Today, November 4th,  marks three years from the day my mother peacefully passed from this earthly world to our Father's world. I didn't know that the last conversation I had with her would be my last.  But, while she slept due to the heavy pain medication those four days, I would talk to her.  I would ask her if she would come to me in a dream or something and just tell me that everything would be all right and that I didn't need to be afraid.  That, it would all make perfect sense once I wasn't encumbered by this mortal shell.  It didn't seem a lot to ask. I was hopeful.

Years had gone by, and when I would tell someone the story of the night she went back home, they'd ask, "Did she do it?  Did she come in a dream?" And I'd say jokingly,  "No! She's holding out on me!"

Earlier this year, sometime in the spring, I had the most amazing thing happen.  It was early in the morning, and I guess you would describe it as the last dream of the 'night'.  Perhaps you have had one of these dreams that seem so real, so different from other dreams.  I saw myself sleeping in my bed, but it wasn't the same as my bed or bedroom as often dreams give obscured images than what is real, yet in the dream you know it is supposed to represent your room, your bed.  Slowly, the view of the bedroom wall was obstructed a layer of space was pealed away exposing a portal to another dimension.  It had those fuzzed out glowing edges like you would see in a dream sequence in a movie.  As the circle of another space and time came into focus, I saw the face of my mother.  Not as I had last known her face, but as I remembered she looked at about 35 years old.  Her jet black hair, flipped up at the edges.  Her skin so fresh and unworn by life's burdens and worries.  Her face was beaming the most beautiful peaceful smile I have ever seen.  I reached out my arms to her and I kept trying to call out to her, "Mom! mom!"  But it was as if my mouth was bound and I could not actually speak with my lips the words I was crying out in my mind.  I tried again and again, reaching with my arms but unable to articulate my call to her.  She just kept smiling and I felt my whole body burn inside, and I cried great tears the same as when you receive a deep and profound spiritual witness of truth.  Then that portal started to fade away as I was still reaching and calling for her until gradually I awoke to my reality, still reaching and sobbing real tears that obviously had started long before my awakening.  My bosom still burned inside of me with that same spiritual fire.  I will never forget how real it all was.

Although she never uttered the words I asked her to tell me, I knew this was my mother trying to convey the comfort I had been seeking.  I felt a peace and love emanating from her that pierced my heart and mind.

In retrospect, as I think about my current diagnosis, and how long this dreaded cancer must have been growing in my body, the timing of this experience that bridged the gap between my earthly world and the world that has no boundaries seems so merciful.  And, while I do not mean to imply that I have anything but hope, regarding the miracle for which we are all praying, I am grateful that Heavenly Father allowed this brief, yet profound connection to His world.  A seemingly small and simple way to help me overcome my fear.

Yes, I know Heavenly Father Loves Me!